Friday, October 19, 2012

Friday Fun - Up, Up, Up The Mountain Ahead

Dream big, kids.
When you join a new company, you instinctively adapt to the work pace, flow, and org chart. Some changes take longer than others, and I believe, like Yogi, that "90% of the game is half mental." It takes time to wrap your brain around unfamiliar information, and job titles are part of that adjustment.

What do I mean? Work in science awhile, and you'll collect proper nouns like Halloween candy. Chair of some committee, Head of a department, Scientist 1,2,3,4...infinity. Manager, Director, Prez, Chairman, and of course "Senior" or "Emeritus" appended to every title later in life.

Germane to our earlier discussion about chemistry "life coaches," I feel the community needs a list of all the different things you can do in chemistry, parsed artificially by job description. Here goes, from bottom to top, best I can muster (suggestions welcome!):

That Kid who likes Science
Student
Test Tube Washer
Intern
Science Fair Winner
Chemistry Major
Teaching Assistant
Science Fair Judge
Tutor
Technician
Research Assistant
Grad Student
Research Associate
Lab Manager
Scientist
Postdoc
Habilitant
Assistant Professor
Adjunct Professor
Research Chemist
Associate Faculty
Visiting Professor
Manager
Grantee
Hey, look, a hyper-literal metaphor!
Scientist II
Principal Scientist
Senior Scientist
Specialist
Associate Professor
Senior Chemist
Project Head
Special Advisor
Senior Manager
Chief Scientist
Assistant Director
Full Professor
Associate Director
Dept. Head
Director
Chaired Professor
Vice President
Assistant Dean
Chief Scientific Officer
Research Fellow
Advisor
Dean
Vice-Chancellor
President
Vice-Chairman
Chairman
Ribbon-Cutter
Laureate
Chancellor
Board Member
Knight / Dame
(see post title)
CEO
Founder

...and, of course: "Emeritus" (everything above).

Readers, what did I miss on this life expedition? Suggest 'em in the comments, and I'll toss suggested titles in where I think they fit best. 
Happy Friday!

5 comments:

  1. you left out "associate faculty." It is a term used for people like me who teach isolated classes at different junior colleges. It is not tenure track, it has no stature or stability. It is, however, an opportunity to contribute to science.

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