My Scientific Misadventures

Did you hear about the Florida teen expelled from school for her unsupervised chemical forays?

Tragic. 

Reading Ash and DNLee's posts over at SciAm made me furious, too. So, I thought I'd take a trip down memory lane, recounting all the stupid (but important!) things I tried in science labs, Kindergarten through College.

Disclaimer: Don't try these on school grounds. Given today's educational climate, you'd likely be in serious trouble for any of these activities.

1. I learned about acidic corrosion by testing small drops of concentrated HCl on coins, nails, paper clips, wood - basically anything that changed color or smoked.

2. Particle size controls reaction rate? I cut up a bunch of hand warmers to play with thermite.

3. I examined anything and everything under our high-powered class microscopes. Including pus, blood, urine, mucus, skin, hair, tears, and spit. All from me.

4. I figured out how to catch asbestos-lined 3-prong clamp sleeves on fire.

5. When I heard about the halogen flame-test, I didn't stop at the required substrates. Turns out, lots of things from your lunch-box will give a positive test.

6. I explored salt bridges and solution conductance using lantern batteries and light bulbs.

7. I cultivated fruit flies in an old pasta jar in my dorm room. Never did see a white-eyed one...

8. Many things will catch fire using a magnifying glass + sunshine.

9. Sometimes, heating something just a bit more will produce beautiful crystals. And sometimes multiple grams of bright blue copper complexes end up all over your smock, the bench, and the floor.

10. My "wilderness survival" kit contained a flint and steel. I did not use these exclusively for survival.

11. Best way to learn about peroxides? Drop some liver into them (or some blood).

12. The experiment to extract luciferin from fireflies did not go as planned.

13. Fun with food chemistry: Just start mixing things from the cupboard and see what happens!

14. You cannot remove urushiol (poison ivy oil) with rubbing alcohol. It just seeps deeper into your skin.

15. Iodine starch tests work on bread, paper, and clothes...

I'm sure there are many, many more. End result? Proud Ph.D. chemist.

Wanted: Chemistry Life Coach

Clicking around on LinkedIn yesterday, I ran across a promoted blog post by Fast Company, titled "8 Signs You've Found Your Life's Work." I thought, 'Hey, that sounds a lot like me,' and checked it out. Written in flowery motivational-ese, it says a lot without saying much. And the writer? Owns her own self-help firm. [Sigh]

Life. Yeah, there's an app for that.

Can anyone tell me when the "life coaching" industry vaulted into the popular ethos? I understand that Benjamin Franklin and Dale Carnegie got things going, and Stephen Covey's Seven Habits sprung partially from these works. Web 2.0 allowed a leveled playing field and hyper-democratization; anyone with a smartphone and 15 minutes became a self-proclaimed guru. Thus, we now have Lifehacker, a blog devoted to using software and gadgets to improve oneself, and even an app (Epic Win) where you transform humdrum activities into a video game (While playing E.W. you earn "XP" for completing daily tasks, and unlock prizes and boss fights for 'quests' such as washing your clothes or getting to work on time).

Waxing on motivation brought to mind some particularly grueling grad school moments. There wasn't always much time for foresight or personal development, what Seven Habits might have called "Quadrant 2" activities. But instead of writing essays, taking personality quizzes, or structuring schedules, what if we could get some useful career advice?
Then it hit me: Chemistry Life Coaches!  Here's a potential example:

Client: "So, uh, how do I become a better chemist?" 

Life Coach: "Write more papers. Read literature. Give posters."

(See, the job basically writes itself!)

Seriously, though, who do you ask for advice about professional scientific development? Your grad school mentor? C&EN articles? Former bosses? Grad-school buddies?

Let's see - 'Symposia for Dummies,' Chapter 1...

Perhaps the blogosphere fills that role for now - Chemjobber has a good thing going, and I've certainly seen Ash and ChemBark post about some soul-searching topics. I also note that ACS hosts quite a few development webinars and events at National Meetings. I'd argue, though, that there's still quite a vacuum to fill with trustworthy advice and "how-to" booklets.

So who'll step forward to create "Labhacker?" "Epic Tenure?" Write that first book, "How to Succeed in Chemistry (While Really Trying)?"

I'll be waiting.