|"Rule 74: Knowledge equals profit"|
Now, although the lab atmosphere purportedly promotes cooperation and teamwork, those of us who've staunchly guarded a favorite piece of glassware or equipment might beg to differ. I therefore suggest an (admittedly incomplete) set of Lab Rules of Acquisition**
1. Everyone writes their own dissertation.
2. If I wash your flask, it's going in my drawer.
3. Keep your friends close, and your stir bars closer.
4. Using 'group intermediates' saves you the trouble!
5. Rotovaps are fair game.
6. Always 'repurpose' others' old NMR tubes.
7. Become best friends with the lab manager - they have all the best supplies.
8. Never turn down free lunch.
9. Authorship = currency.
10. When all else fails, blame the intern.
*Readers: Have more suggestions? Feel free to comment, and I'll add them into the mix!
**P.S. For those with a literal streak, this is clearly satire. Labmates who behave this way end up in hot water.