4/1/14
Grand Rapids, MI: Troublesome chemical reactions? Try adding a pinch of...anything.
Reporting today in the journal ACS Catalysis, researchers have discovered that every chemical element or molecular mixture catalyzes reactions when present in trace quantities. "As I've told all my students, catalytic inspiration + 10 equivalents perspiration produces beautiful molecules," remarked Scripps Professor Phil Baran. "I just never mentioned that I used drops of actual sweat!"
"Brilliant!" remarked Stuart Cantrill, Chief Editor of Nature Chemistry. "Chemists were always running reactions in beer and coffee, mostly to show off. The trick now will be discovering which obscure thing goes into what reaction."
"Indeed," remarked Chemistry World's Neil Withers.
As shown by the graphic abstract (above), scientists at the forefront of catalytic research often try just about anything they can get their hands on. "I wouldn't have believed it, myself, but the data convinced me," commented celebrated catalysis scion John Hartwig. "Our lab has already added ppm quantities of dryer lint, nose hairs, and soy sauce to asymmetric Ir allylations, with fantastic yields and high ee."
N.B. - Calls to Dow and DuPont were not returned by press time
Note to the humorless: This is fake. Happy April Fools' Day. Please don't sue me.
The logical follow-up to this 'everything is made of chemicals' claim I keep hearing.
ReplyDeleteNo No No..... Natural stuff does not have chemicals in it - get on message!
DeleteThat earwax must have sodium hydride in it
ReplyDeleteTouche!
DeleteSodium hydride? Must be really exciting when showering!
DeleteHaven't you ever heard the phrase "My ears are burning..."
DeleteNot to mention the shower curtains!
DeleteSince they don't mine it anymore, where do you suppose sodium hydride comes from? A guy from Sigma comes around to a list of specially selected peasants every month and buys their earwax.
Deletesodium hydride does not oxidize alcohols
DeleteIndeed it doesn't, but Alex is probably referring to this: http://totallysynthetic.com/blog/?p=1903
DeleteI find that carefully combining beans, cheese, and jalapeños creates a potent rocket fuel after about six to twelve hours of reaction time.
ReplyDeletehypergolic?
DeleteOnly with humans -- they reliably react in an incendiary manner.
DeleteKarenia brevis is photosynthetic, so except that it lives in water not soil the bottom reaction is pretty much true
ReplyDeleteHartwig's got to be kidding. In my hands sriracha has worked orders of magnitude better than soy for those kinds of reactions.
ReplyDeleteYea, ancient wisdom that "everything is catalytic" has long been handed down from mentor to mentee, but I'm glad someone finally did some systematic studies on what reliably works!
ReplyDelete