Pharma's 'Four Horsemen' - Small Companies Benefit

As the economy struggles to escape recession, many incentives of the "stable corporate job" once taken for granted have disappeared. Eight-hour work day? Nope. Full benefits, perhaps with retirement? Nowhere I've worked. Flexible work hours, or the ability to vacation without checking email? Don't even think about turning off that cell phone!

Yeah, some days. Only, with a lab coat.
Source: SciAm Blogs / istockphoto

I'll admit, I had spent some time in pharma when it seemed to have no upper limit: company parties, annual bonuses, guest lecturers, the whole enchilada. But nowadays, with news of mass layoffs at every major chemistry firm, and certain sites closing altogether, I've had the discussion several times about whether we'll ever see salad days again.


One of my ex-'Big Pharma' contacts forwarded along a cheery little document from Cliff Ennico, a lawyer who appears to specialize in small business and entrepreneurship. He had visited their campus to suggest potential career routes for laid-off employees. The tract essentially advocates for self-reliance through small business ownership, skill development, and networking. But his ideology caught me off guard: he compares current corporate practice to the Apocalypse! 


Here's Ennico's "Four Horsemen of Corporate America:"


Computers - If your function can be automated, you might be next on the chopping block.


Overseas Competition - China and India are specifically mentioned, which segues to...


Outsourcing - Well, if you haven't sent med-chem work to CROs, or offshore, you're in the minority. For another example, consider the contract positions seen on ACS Careers (three months, really?)


Overwork - Quoth the paper: 

"Big corporations these days are obsessed with 'maximizing productivity,' which often translates [to] 'getting the maximum amount of work out of your employees for the minimum amount of compensation.'"

"Hang on . . .which one of us was Outsourcing, again?"
Source: photobucket.com, user: the_pug

So, all doom and gloom, right? Well, maybe so, maybe not. After mass 'Big Pharma' layoffs, small companies - like mine - tend to benefit from an influx of well-trained, poised people ready to try something new. And while the hours are still long, and the pace hectic, it's both humbling and exhilarating to watch something grow from the ground up. Best part? They'll need you to "pinch-hit" on a variety of projects, which imparts some job security.


New grads, post-docs: Make sure to think 'small' when filling out those job applications. It's stressful, sure, but well worth the effort.

Straight From the Horse's Mouth

That post about corporate euphemisms I wrote the other day? Meant to be informational, but with a ring of sarcastic truth to it; often times these nicknames help exiting employees to cope and offer them an element of control in an otherwise bad situation. 

An alternate reality? Sounds like Pfizer...
Source: briterevolution.com

Survival in the heavily matrixed environment at Pfizer apparently took more than just hard work and pedigree. Over the past few days, I've spoken with some former employees, and I'll briefly paraphrase the conversations (Note: I'm hardly the first to discuss these layoffs...)


All former Pfizerites felt that they had spent a lot of time meeting and politicking, perhaps as much as they did generating new data or discovering new drugs. One said that layoffs were announced as early as six months prior to corporate action, leaving employees wondering if they would have a job next season (I guess they were "lucky" not to be let go over the weekend?!). Another worker alluded to overemphasis of negative traits during performance reviews, such that if you were laid off in the future, the document might seem to presage your departure. 


When layoffs occurred, scientists often abandoned still-running equipment and in-progress experiments. The equipment would sit around for a time, unused, and later be sold at auction to recover costs. Since no one would be hired to replace the outgoing researcher, many data sets were irrevocably lost.


The most shocking sentiment I heard was that of a long-time chemist, who compared negotiating the enormous, post-merger(s) Pfizer to a zero-sum game, where the only way to move ahead was to "bring someone else down." 


To borrow a popular sentiment: Best wishes to all of us.

What Do You Call Yourselves?

In the "hot-potato" game of Pharma jobs, it's not uncommon to work with a whole new cast of people every 5 years or so. I recall one such summer, where I watched the director and two lead chemists change around in just 3 months!

"Hi, I'm a GSKer."
"Really? I'm Ex-BMS!"

As you mix and match with refugees from layoffs, mergers, or plant closures, you encounter chemists from many different backgrounds. Perhaps they came from a rigid corporate hierarchy, or perhaps they were "pseudo-academics." Maybe they had legions of secretaries and associates, or maybe they were "armies of one" at a small start-up. But one thing everyone has?


A cute euphemism for where they used to work.


The Old "Ex-" (Most common): Ex-Pfizer, Ex-Merck, Ex-Lilly, Ex-BMS.


"-Ers": DuPonters, Merckers, GSKers, Genentechers*


"-Ites": Amgenites, Pfizerites


Engineers: Dow.


Geography Quiz: Sometimes, chemists will tell you they're from Nutley, Wilmington, or La Jolla, and expect you to intuit their former employers.


"Initials Only" Club: J&J, BASF, B-I, AZ.


Readers, I must be missing several. Have you heard any good ones?


Update, 3/8, 2:35AM - Chemjobber suggests "Pfizer alumni," and a Twitter respondent says the preferred internal term is "colleague."

An anonymous commenter suggests "BioGoners" for Ex-Biogen employees.


*(Yes, I checked all of these out on Google, and all have >150 hits, except "Genentechers" (76), which I usually hear via FiercePharma)