A friend and I recently traded barbs back and forth comparing NFL Pro Days and chemistry lab culture.
For the unfamiliar, during the recruitment process, colleges host scouts from various NFL teams while exhibiting their athletes' skills in various strength, speed, and coordination drills.
Without further ado...
"He wrapped up that running back like Parafilm!"
"I calculate molarity more accurately than Drew Brees throws the deep ball."
"For good protection in the pocket, make sure you're using reagent-compatible lab gloves."
"My signing bonus? A monogrammed lab coat and an Aldrich mouse pad."
"Neither my advisor or I knew the answer, so we punted."
"That safety covered him better than a full-face respirator!"
(I could go on, but I'll let you readers have a crack at it!)