Friday Fun: WWWTP? Linkin Park Edition

Through the wonders of the Internet, I've found this still image from the 2003 Linkin Park video for "Numb":

In the video, a young, disaffected student dreams of traveling to far-flung cities to practice her true talent - sculptural drawing. However, it seems an evil chemistry professor stands in her way.

But look behind the (hilariously stereotyped) man with the chalkboard pointer. NaK...as an alloy, perhaps? And how come there's a subscript number before the nitrous acid?

If that were my science teacher, I'd feel "numbed" by his complete lack of chemistry education.

Happy Friday,
See Arr Oh

Opportunity

HEY SCIENTISTS!

Feeling out of the rat race?
Lost in those interminable development meetings?
Want to conceptualize a game plan to bring real value to your organization?

The Biotech DEFENSIVE MBA^TM can help! Learn the latest lingo straight from the horses' mouths.
Get engaged in that next strategy session.
Move your career AHEAD with a world-class approach.

Skills learned in the Biotech DEFENSIVE MBA^TM may include:

• Using bold print and CAPITAL LETTERS to drive home action items.
• Speaking in short imperatives.
• How to keep those $2,000 suits looking pressed and fresh*
• Speaking for long intervals (without saying much of anything).
• Condensing complex thoughts into bullet points for easier intellectual digestion.

A can't-miss, proactive,
paradigm-shift, life-changing,
highly-hyphenated
opportunity

Special topics for the Biotech DEFENSIVE MBA^TM include:

• Outsourcing and You: The Inevitable, Looming Shadow
• Hey, that R&D Line Item Costs a Lot...What Do You Do, Again?
• Have Fun at Your Summer Conference; I'll Be on My Yacht
• Did We Mention Bullet Points?

Be proactive! Learn to play hardball with the think-outside-the-box-crowd. Act today, and we'll even send you the math quiz at no additional charge:

From high school to completion, an MBA can be earned in as little as 5 years. A Ph.D. chemist - with postdoc - averages 11 years. 

1. Who wins this scenario? 
2. Do you suppose there's any difference in starting salary?
3. What would the chemist do if she could have those 6 years back? Discuss.

The Biotech DEFENSIVE MBA^TM is enrolling now.** 
Don't delay, take control of your future TODAY!

(Note for the humorless: This is satire.)

*Step 1: Wear suit. Step 2: Stop working in that dirty old lab.
**Program completely booked up for the year. Maybe you can take on an internship or another post-doc while you wait?

Obituary: T. Occsic Wastrel, 95

For Immediate Release:

Professor T. Occsic Wastrel, "Ollie" to his friends, passed away after a short illness Tuesday. A member of the National Academy and Chair of the Presidential Chemistry Outreach Committee, Dr. Wastrel mentored several doctoral students now ensconced in the highest echelons of chemical industry and 'Big Pharma.'

Born in Bonn, Germany in 1918, Ollie studied at the prestigious Arbeitsschuppen, from whence he received his Diplom in 1936. Nurturing a natural proclivity for synthesis (perhaps spurred on by his well-stocked basement lab), Dr. Wastrel enrolled at Harvard in 1937, earning a B.A. in 1940. His lone publication "On the Hydrolysis of Various Acid Esters" with Distinguished Professor H. Slavedriver, garnered him a Ph.D. in 1942, followed by a 6-month postdoctoral stint at MIT studying seawater gold extraction.

A "gentlemen's agreement" between his former advisor and the hiring committee resulted in Dr. Wastrel's immediate appointment at Princeton in 1943. Associations with future Manhattan Project scientists led to a life-long association with the Atomic Energy Commission (later the NRC), and thus a veritable wellspring of guaranteed future funding. Combined with the G.I. Bill and the scientific expansions of Dr. Vannevar Bush, Prof. Wastrel had a sure path to academic glory for the ensuing five decades.

During his 50+ years of active research, Prof. Wastrel would direct his learned eye towards whatever seemed reasonably likely to be funded. Later life found him traveling the world as a special guest lecturer, consulting for tobacco and mining concerns, and collecting royalties for a pivotal patent concerning the dusty residue found in cathode ray tubes. He would eventually amass 30+ peer-reviewed papers, 2 patents, and train 10 doctoral candidates.

Friends of Ollie recall his jaunty devil-may-care attitude, whether sharing a smoke by the fume hoods, or catching up with a scotch at the Faculty Club. "On Friday evenings, we would pour our synthetic waste down the sinks, incinerate our Bakelite vessels and paper trash, and head off for a spirited round of badminton," remarked E.Z. Tenyoor, who occupied the office down the hall.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the T. Occsic Wastrel Community Cleanup Fund.

Note for the serious: This is satire, based on this tweet from CJ.

Purple Squirrel Hunt

Chemjobber posted about a "fishy" ACS Careers ad earlier this morning, and a clever commenter deduced a reasonable explanation: the uber-specific writing limited the candidate pool to only those folks working in the founder's lab!

Prof. Christian Melander, of NCSU, helped to found Agile Sciences in the Research Triangle area back in 2007. The company (and the job announcement) aims to find 2-aminoimidazole compounds capable of biofilm dispersion to treat, for example, stubborn hospital-acquired infections or respiratory ailments.

Well, you might think a parody job posting about a comment on a blog about a job posting to be a bit...meta, but here we go*

"Burgeoning Midwestern lab seeks bench chemists who love silicon-Lewis base chemistry. Must enjoy race cars and working long shifts. Mustaches a plus"

"Large, exploration-driven government agency seeks scientists driven to find alternative life forms. Must own set of rubber boots, waders, and enjoy the smell of metal- and sulfur-rich lakes. Creative writing background preferred."

"Are you a 'thinker?' Massive multinational pharmaceutical seeks innovative chemists for 'design' role in large East Coast city. Must enjoy scowling at computer monitor 12+ hours, skimming literature. Prerequisite: outsourcing experience."

"W. Coast Research Institute seeks hard-core synthesis folk. Ability to beat boss in arm wrestling a plus. Must enjoy high-profile publications, spotlights, and joining heterocycles in unforeseen ways. Join our cult, err, program today!"

*Note for the humorless: this is satire.

For Your Consideration...

A New, Improved 47-Step Synthesis of Shootmenowicene

Editor: We originally sent a 1600 x 1200
color abstract. Just picture a 15-member
macrolide, densely functionalized with
heterocycles, five stereocenters,
 and chelated iron.

Abstract: Shootmenowicene, a heterocycle-containing polyketide macrolide polyene siderophore, was originally isolated in 0.009% from immature sprouts of the Bungus bungus tree. We report herein a significantly shortened 47-step route to the natural product (down from 48), which we believe will allow for kilo-scale synthesis for future clinical trials.

Synthetic highlights include: extensive use of Yamamoto's "super-silyl" protecting group, a Sezen C-H arylation / macrocyclization, kilo-scale flash-vacuum pyrolysis (FVP), and enantioselective tributyltin hydride reduction. Efforts to adapt "green" chemical considerations have been made - the penultimate oxidation occurs by swirling flask in open air for three days over twenty equivalents iron oxide catalyst.

This streamlined route utilizes seventeen silica gel purifications, four alumina plugs, two resolutions: D(-)-tartaric acid and 1R(-)-10-camphorsulfonic acid (the expensive ones, sorry!), and a one-pot global HF / Hg / chromic acid deprotection protocol. Overall yield was 0.0008%, as a mixture of diastereomers (brsm).

Two medicinally active methylated analogues will be reported in due course.

Thanks to Derek for the initial inspiration, with a gentle nudge courtesy of Chemjobber.