Opportunity

HEY SCIENTISTS!

Feeling out of the rat race?
Lost in those interminable development meetings?
Want to conceptualize a game plan to bring real value to your organization?

The Biotech DEFENSIVE MBA^TM can help! Learn the latest lingo straight from the horses' mouths.
Get engaged in that next strategy session.
Move your career AHEAD with a world-class approach.

Skills learned in the Biotech DEFENSIVE MBA^TM may include:

• Using bold print and CAPITAL LETTERS to drive home action items.
• Speaking in short imperatives.
• How to keep those $2,000 suits looking pressed and fresh*
• Speaking for long intervals (without saying much of anything).
• Condensing complex thoughts into bullet points for easier intellectual digestion.

A can't-miss, proactive,
paradigm-shift, life-changing,
highly-hyphenated
opportunity

Special topics for the Biotech DEFENSIVE MBA^TM include:

• Outsourcing and You: The Inevitable, Looming Shadow
• Hey, that R&D Line Item Costs a Lot...What Do You Do, Again?
• Have Fun at Your Summer Conference; I'll Be on My Yacht
• Did We Mention Bullet Points?

Be proactive! Learn to play hardball with the think-outside-the-box-crowd. Act today, and we'll even send you the math quiz at no additional charge:

From high school to completion, an MBA can be earned in as little as 5 years. A Ph.D. chemist - with postdoc - averages 11 years. 

1. Who wins this scenario? 
2. Do you suppose there's any difference in starting salary?
3. What would the chemist do if she could have those 6 years back? Discuss.

The Biotech DEFENSIVE MBA^TM is enrolling now.** 
Don't delay, take control of your future TODAY!

(Note for the humorless: This is satire.)

*Step 1: Wear suit. Step 2: Stop working in that dirty old lab.
**Program completely booked up for the year. Maybe you can take on an internship or another post-doc while you wait?